TTC and Adoption Update

I wanted to give everyone an update. In a previous post I stated I was going to do the surgery for my endometriosis. Well…you see I never scheduled it. For a couple reasons, timing, scared, unknown, etc. We still feel the timing just isn’t right, and I just don’t want to know the answers that might come from it. 1) I have endometriosis. 2) I don’t have endometriosis, THEN WHATS MY PROBLEM? You see where I’m going with this. Cody and I talk all the time about what we want to do, and we both agree to put it on hold for a little longer and continue to have hope.  We are still trying, every once in awhile I take a month off of OPKs but that’s all we are doing.

The adoption is taking a lot longer than I thought. And the whole process has been heart breaking for me. My heart is so open to love, every child I see I have some sort of pull to. But we haven’t found our match but are hopeful we will.

That’s all I have for now. Nothing really huge as happened but if it does you will know.

 

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Cycle ???

I’ve stopped counting my cycles. Infertility has stopping running my life. Do I still think about from time to time? Of course usually when someone asks, or a TV show or a book I’m reading. A first I thought infertility wasn’t really talked about but it’s everywhere. The book I’m reading the main character had endometriosis and had suffered from a miscarriage. I keep wondering why I am getting lead down this path, this journey, maybe that’s why. Maybe my body can’t handle pregnancy and God doesn’t think I can go through the grief of a miscarriage. I know this is the path I’m supposed to be on, because it’s made me stronger, Cody and I have a different outlook for our family; and we have bonded more than ever.
We have also had some difficult discussions about; age, race, disabilities that we think we will be able to handle etc. If any of our friends or family members want to understand more I recommend reading Three Little Words by Rhodes-courter. It will make you cry but you will understand a little more of what the child and what we will be going through during the first couple months and even years later. For our family I really recommend the webinar Conspicuous Families on Adoptionlearningpartners.org. (Let me know and I’ll give you the logon)
We are in the final stages of the home study and have one visit left with our social worker that will be held in our home. We will have to be completed within the next 60 days (time line the background checks last). During this time we are preparing the house and doing any fixer upper things so we can focus on our family when the time comes.
We are still trying to raise money as I want to be able to take some maternity leave which will be unpaid. So I have started making some things. If any of you are interested message me and I’ll let you know cost.


Thank you all who have supported us and continue to support us. We are extremely excited for the next chapter.

Adoption Fundraiser Garage Sale!

Mark your calendars for Saturday, May 21st.
We’re having an adoption fundraiser garage sale!
View More: http://photos.pass.us/clarkefamily2016
I’m so excited to announce that we’re planning a big garage sale on Saturday, May 21 from 8am-2pm to help build our adoption fund.  We’re thinking HUGE and we’d love your help!  I’ve read of many similar adoption sales bringing in anywhere from $1000-$4000 (CRAZY) so I’m praying that Lord uses this in mighty ways to help us. Please pray along with me!
 
What You Can Do
1)  Set aside stuff to donate to our sale (clothes, toys, electronics, games, decorations, furniture, etc.).  If you’re planning to donate clothing, it might be helpful to bag it according to size or at least baby/child/adult.  Let us know and we will be able to pick it up.
 
2)  Consider helping me run this crazy thing.  I definitely cannot do this on my own!  If you’d like to help by lending a table to place items on, volunteer to assist in pricing things, help me set out the stuff in the wee hours of the morning that Saturday, sign up to help handle the money during part of the sale, or volunteer to help tear down after it’s over, please let me know.  You can leave me a comment below if you’re interested.
 
3) Pray for beautiful weather and generous buyers!  
 
I’m so excited to be able to join with you to do this.  I love that adoption is such a community thing where we can join together to reflect God’s heart.  I can’t wait to see how the Lord uses this to help us gather the resources we need to adopt!  Thank you so much for considering.

Clarke’s Adoption Fund

Cody and I decided to start a gofundme page. It was tough, we both hate asking for help. We have an opportunity to move up our PRIDE training to May and realized this is a blessing. With weeks of trying to go through our local social services and trying get answers and training dates, we finally got an answer of indefinitely. They don’t know when they will be able to hold the training so we decided to move forward with a private agency. Needless to say we are moving at lighting speed compared to local social services. We are extremely excited to be moving forward and can’t wait to go through this process!

https://www.gofundme.com/clarkesadoption

Just Relax

It seems this is all you hear when you are struggling with infertility. ‘It will happen when you least expect it” is another one you hear a lot. When you are struggling with infertility those are the WORST WORDS to hear. Yes, we know you mean well but those words do more harm than good. We were “relaxed” the first year. It was all fun and games until we noticed something was not right. When all you ever want in life is to be called “Mom,”  there is nothing relaxing about being told “you may never get pregnant on your own.”

I have asked some of my fellow infertility sisters what is the worst thing they have heard in regards to “getting pregnant” and/or trying to show sympathy.

Silvia – ”Stop trying and it will happen.” As if 2 years of trying naturally is not an indication something is wrong. “Your boobs are so big, imagine when you get pregnant” hmm what? I don’t care what my boobs will be like!

Alanna – “You two should just get totally drunk and I’m sure you’ll get pregnant.” Alright I’ll get right on that….Seriously!

Jenny A – “You should just adopt.” Drives me crazy. Oh, thanks, I never thought of that simple solution.

Jenny H – “It’s all in God’s plan” or “It’ll happen in God’s time” Though I believe in God’s guidance, I in no way believe that God caused my miscarriages to happen for some greater purpose.

Vida – “Just stop trying and it will happen” is the hardest to hear.

 
We have put our lives on hold for some of us, it’s been years. We have been poked and prodded more times than not. Our relationships have suffered. We have had to deal with loss. We’re emotionally spent. We deal with failure on an almost daily basis. We are tired, frustrated, and have been beaten down over and over. Relax is not something we want to hear and it’s not the answer to our problems.

Cycle 18

This is when it really hit me that maybe my definition of “mom” might be completely different than your definition. Many of you might not know that Cody and I have been struggling with infertility. Well actually most of you don’t know because this is the first time I have said to out loud. I am infertile, what does that mean? Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying to conceive. We are currently going on 18 months.

Here is a little back ground. I got off birth control september 2014. The first 6 months we were not necessarily trying to conceive but certainly were not preventing conception. After the 6 months I started tracking, using OPKs (ovulation prediction kits) and BD (baby dancing) when the time hit! Well that year went by slow and painful. Cody and I started discussing it was time to see a specialist, just to make sure nothing is preventing us. Better safe than sorry. So I made an appointment with my OBGYN to go over what’s next. Well you guessed it she referred us to a RE (reproductive endocrinologist) We started all the infertility testing. Labs, HSG (hysterosalpingogram) and seman analysis. Everything come back wonderful! My labs were perfect, tubes wide open, and seman was fast and plentiful! HA 😉 So what does that mean? We have been diagnosed with Unexplained Infertility.. Which means after the test results came back and no detectable reason for infertility is identified, the unexplained infertility diagnosis is given. This does NOT mean that there isn’t a reason for the infertility. It means that the science and the diagnostic tests are not advanced enough to detect the cause of infertility. Egg quality, fertilization, and implantation factors are difficult to test and may be the underlying problems….

We have been living with that diagnosis for six months. Deciding what is next, coping, discussing treatment options, other options, hoping, praying. Frankly, “Unexplained Infertility” really translates to, “I can’t find anything obviously wrong with you so let’s just dump you in this category.” Cody and I don’t believe in “unexplained infertility” it is BS. How can we (healthy, young, perfect 😉 ) people be infertile. So that leads us to my favorite quote. My definition of “mom” or “dad” might be different than yours.

mom

 

Welcome!

Welcome lovelies! Thank you for taking the time and visiting my page! This is a huge step for me. Courageously Strong World is a look into the world of a courageously strong couple, my husband Cody and myself! This blog will be a place where I will share our struggle, coping, living, and how we will move forward with our diagnosis of infertility.

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