I’ve stopped counting my cycles. Infertility has stopping running my life. Do I still think about from time to time? Of course usually when someone asks, or a TV show or a book I’m reading. A first I thought infertility wasn’t really talked about but it’s everywhere. The book I’m reading the main character had endometriosis and had suffered from a miscarriage. I keep wondering why I am getting lead down this path, this journey, maybe that’s why. Maybe my body can’t handle pregnancy and God doesn’t think I can go through the grief of a miscarriage. I know this is the path I’m supposed to be on, because it’s made me stronger, Cody and I have a different outlook for our family; and we have bonded more than ever.
We have also had some difficult discussions about; age, race, disabilities that we think we will be able to handle etc. If any of our friends or family members want to understand more I recommend reading Three Little Words by Rhodes-courter. It will make you cry but you will understand a little more of what the child and what we will be going through during the first couple months and even years later. For our family I really recommend the webinar Conspicuous Families on Adoptionlearningpartners.org. (Let me know and I’ll give you the logon)
We are in the final stages of the home study and have one visit left with our social worker that will be held in our home. We will have to be completed within the next 60 days (time line the background checks last). During this time we are preparing the house and doing any fixer upper things so we can focus on our family when the time comes.
We are still trying to raise money as I want to be able to take some maternity leave which will be unpaid. So I have started making some things. If any of you are interested message me and I’ll let you know cost.
Thank you all who have supported us and continue to support us. We are extremely excited for the next chapter.