It seems this is all you hear when you are struggling with infertility. ‘It will happen when you least expect it” is another one you hear a lot. When you are struggling with infertility those are the WORST WORDS to hear. Yes, we know you mean well but those words do more harm than good. We were “relaxed” the first year. It was all fun and games until we noticed something was not right. When all you ever want in life is to be called “Mom,” there is nothing relaxing about being told “you may never get pregnant on your own.”
I have asked some of my fellow infertility sisters what is the worst thing they have heard in regards to “getting pregnant” and/or trying to show sympathy.
Silvia – ”Stop trying and it will happen.” As if 2 years of trying naturally is not an indication something is wrong. “Your boobs are so big, imagine when you get pregnant” hmm what? I don’t care what my boobs will be like!
Alanna – “You two should just get totally drunk and I’m sure you’ll get pregnant.” Alright I’ll get right on that….Seriously!
Jenny A – “You should just adopt.” Drives me crazy. Oh, thanks, I never thought of that simple solution.
Jenny H – “It’s all in God’s plan” or “It’ll happen in God’s time” Though I believe in God’s guidance, I in no way believe that God caused my miscarriages to happen for some greater purpose.
Vida – “Just stop trying and it will happen” is the hardest to hear.
We have put our lives on hold for some of us, it’s been years. We have been poked and prodded more times than not. Our relationships have suffered. We have had to deal with loss. We’re emotionally spent. We deal with failure on an almost daily basis. We are tired, frustrated, and have been beaten down over and over. Relax is not something we want to hear and it’s not the answer to our problems.